Saturday, July 5, 2008

Sexperiment and Fireworks

these are NOT related

So I took a day or so off from blogging because I was feeling overwhelmed. I am still working to balance all the things that make me happy: writing, keeping healthy (I don't LOVE the gym, but I do love being healthy), mommying, gardening, etc.... it seems that I have the ability to become stuck in front of my computer screen from time to time, ignoring some of the other things in my life that need food, water, hugs and kisses. Not at an abusive level, mind you, but when I get to the point of sticking my spawn in front of a television show that features dancing furry weirdo thingys that are having a dance party inside of a robot head (sorry, Gabba Gabba), it's time to step away from the keyboard for a while. I also have this innate desire to immediately respond to every comment left on my blog, then get carried away, because they turn into small literary works themselves. So if you're reading this, first of all, let me say thank you. Secondly, I LOVE that you comment and promise to do a better job at letting you know it. Moving forward, yesterday we had friends over. I'm not sure they'll be back. We hope, but two out of three of them left with firework related burns.... no, Freddy didn't aim and fire, but thanks for thinking of him. He has complete control over his explosives. I tried to ply my burn victims with wine and beer in an effort to get them partially drunk so that would forget the fire trauma. I'll let you know how it turns out. THE GARDEN REPORT YEP. I'm still planting baby. We are developing the rules for our sexperiment as we go along, though we've had no major complications as of yet. Last night Freddy wandered downstairs as foreplay... pre-gardening was beginning, in search of his plastic cobra. I found that amusing. Leo did not. He couldn't find his SNAKE...get it? I guess it's funnier when you're naked. Anyway, then we hear Dora whimpering and it was my turn to be super parent. I climbed the steps and entered her scary glowing pink (thank you Santa for the funky Sleeping Beauty I'm sure it's a fire hazard lamp) bedroom. She was in the middle of a nice no tears cryfest. Conversation went as follows:

Me: What's wrong sweetie?

Dora: I'm sad 'cause I'm thinking about the baby bunny.

Me: I understand. I'm sorry that you're sad.

Dora: I don't want him to be in heaven. When is he gonna come back to his bones?

Me: Uhhhh. ummmmm. Hmmmm. WTF do you say!? I might have whispered "damn it" under my breath. Well sweetie, I don't think he will be coming back to his bones. He's quite happy hopping in Heaven on a carrot cloud right about now. Do you think he would really like to come back to that hole in the yard?

Dora: But he misses me mommy.

Let me interrupt myself to tell you that at this point real tears are starting to roll down her cheeks.

Dora cont.: How can I tell him that I love him when he is on the carrot cloud?

Me: When you say your prayers, tell God to give the bunny a little shout out for you. I'm sure he will be happy to tell him that you said hello.

Dora: Okay mommy, but I'm still sad. Thank you for coming to check on me.

Me: I will always check on you sweetie. Me to You: I am always humbled by my daughter thanking me for doing mommy things for her. It is simple and yet probably the greatest feeling I get on a regular basis.

THE GARDEN REPORT CONT. So, as I was saying, we are still planting. I'm stressing out already just thinking about how to keep it interesting. I know that people say sex is like ice cream, and that you don't ever get BAD ice cream, but you do know that they make Red Pepper flavored goat's milk ice cream, right? Yeah. Me neither. So toss me some ideas. Don't worry about getting too crazy. We're open, unless you are thinking of inviting farm animals or yourselves. Weirdos.

No comments: