Thursday, July 10, 2008


Thursday, July, 10, 2008

The clouds are passing. The gardening has resumed. I am alive and well. THERE. After reading over my post yesterday, I’m surprised I DIDN’T see two burly guys arrive via ambulance at my front door around lunchtime, complete with a nice fitted jacket that ties in the back, just my size. GEEZ. Needless to say, when the storm comes, it comes with a quickness. Thankfully it passes just as rapidly. Leo and I called a family meeting last night, in the middle of the living room, to address the behavioral issues that have been wreakin’ havoc in the casa. Dora wanted to start said meeting with a word of prayer. (Holy CRAP. Thanks Pentecostal gramma.) It went exactly like this:

DORA with head bowed: God is grape. God is good. Lettuce thank him for our fool. -Freddy interrupts-DORA! That’s the blessing. You don’t say that at a family meeting-UH! You say that at the table! Do you see food? We’re on the COUCH! I interrupt FREDDY , simply because I MUST hear the end, telling him that if Dora is moved to say this particular prayer before our meeting, then we’ll let her continue. Maybe she just really liked dinner.....

Dora cont: God is grape (she always starts over when interrupted) God is good. Lettuce thank him for our fool. Bow his hands we shall be fet give us now hour yummy breakfast. The end. Amen.

Whew. When the meeting finally got under way, the spawn listened intently. They took in the new rules and regulations with the zest normally reserved for replanting (for real) dead rabbits in the back yard. When we opened for questions, Freddy just wanted to make sure he was still going to get an allowance. Dora took the opportunity to tell us that she loved the family, the couches and the dog. She also said she was thankful for her quesadilla...I knew it!

A Brief Garden Report

There was MAJOR make-up gardening underway in the den of love last night. YEE HAW. I took a shower and everything. SERIOUSLY. You KNOW it’s major if there is body washing involved. I’m thinking of draping some sort of sexy see through curtainy stuff from the ceiling. Add a few candles. Remove folded laundry from the dresser and put it IN the dresser. Take out all Barbie shoes, G.I. Joe heads, balls (hummmmm), and stuffed animals. Try to turn it into more of a .......bedroom. My wheels are turning.

The sun is rising......THANK GOD!


Becca said...

hi, are you really OK? where'd ya go?

Mommy of Mayhem said...

I am... it was iffy for a while, but I am perfectly uncrazy at the moment. It comes and goes every few months or so, normally only lasts a few days. Unless I'm chopping my hair off and chucking my belongings in the can, I'm feelin' pretty good! :) Thank you for being concerned.....I like to think that's part of what makes me artsy and interesting, right? RIGHT!?